09 7 / 2012
Solitaire blew his dirty blond fringe out of his face, growing increasingly frustrated. Why in the name of all things holy and clean did cutting hair have to be so arduous? Roule fidgeted impatiently in the metal seat, his hands curling and uncurling in his lap for lack of anything else to do. Soli had promised to cut his hair - why he did that, God only knows - and he was determined to do it. Determination can only go so far before it stops working, though. It was only after Soli had tied Roule’s hair in a ponytail and chopped the offending clump of hair off that he realized he should have probably planned out what he was going to do beforehand. Now he was cropping the boy’s beryl locks almost to his scalp and feeling like a colossal idiot. It didn’t help that Soli had absolutely zero experience in haircutting.
Roule’s eyes flickered to Soli’s in the mirror, throwing him a sour look. “You know, Metro used to be a barber. He used to sing those quartet songs all the time with his little enbourgeoisied toy. ”
Soli sighed and pointedly pressed side of the closed scissors into his young friend’s neck. “Why do you have to talk ab-b-bout him so much? You’re lucky he only used you as a living cadaver. He could’ve-” -Soli ran the point of the scissors along his neck in a cutting motion- “and you would’ve been gone. Stop being silly and twiddle your thumbs or something.”
Taking Roule’s huff of indignation as a confirmation of silence, Soli took another shot his friend’s now-short hair. It stuck up in a lot of places, and the soft swirl of hair around his ears made him look years younger than his actual age. With a puff of satisfaction, Soli tipped Roule’s chair back until he was eye level. “I’m going to kill that man when I find him,” Soli declared.
“Of course Metro. Who else would I kill?”
Roule smiled, a tiny quirk of his lips. “I dunno. Maybe the Russians?”
Soli dropped the chair back down, letting out a bark of laughter. “Them too, I guess. There are more people than me trying to kill them though. No one wants to kill “Dr. Aesma”, w-w-w-world-renowned surgeon and psychologist.” Solitaire white-knuckles the cool headrest of the chair, frustration rising. “He’s finding revolutionary ways to perform biopsies. No one cares if he slices open – without anesthesia, mind you! - a young b-boy just to see what happens.” Soli threw his hands up in the air. “He’s even experimenting with connecting animal ears to humans, just for fun! I swear to God, it’s so easy for him to do it because everyone’s so goddamned poor!”
Soli’s curse was like a slap. “Now Soli, Solitaire- don’t get worked up about it-” Sensing danger, he leaped off the chair, turning to hug Soli, his face buried in his chest. “Swear on my life, I’m fine.” Shuffling a bit, he quietly said, “You don’t have to get him, really. He’ll die eventually.” The boy punctuated his statement with a small kiss on Soli’s cheek, hoping it would be enough to placate him for another day.
Unfortunately, Solitaire was too stubborn. Holding his partner by the shoulders, he nearly pleaded, “P-p-please, Roule. I need to get him. He did-” Soli gestured to Roule’s stomach - “to you, and you’re alright with that? Quite honestly, I think you’re underreacting to thi-”
Suddenly, furious knocking at the door. Soli’s eyes flickered from the door to Roule and then to the door again, and by the time that Soli had retracted his vice grip and made his way to the door his door was already being kicked open.
“Hold on, hold on!” Soli called, tucking his fringe over his glasses and opening up the door.
The cacophony of noise that assaulted him sounded as if was from another dimension. On his doorstep stood a young girl, no more than fifteen, whose jitters and twitching made Soli itch to shuffle from foot to foot. There was soot smeared all over her face and the lab coat that she was wearing looked to be once white but was now irreparably dusted with black and in tatters. Before Soli could even react, she grabbed his arm in a vice grip and desperately said, “Soli, Soli! Thank the heavens you’re here! We heard you- well, really I heard you, I hear everyone- and we were thinking- well, Elly thought up most of the plan but I helped out a lot with all of the things and stuff- and basically-” breath “We’reheretohelpyoufindMetro!”
Roule stood behind Soli, a dumbfounded look on his face. “Hah?”
The girl rolled her eyes, combing knots from her hair with her fingers. As though this were something simple. “We’re here to help you find Metro. Basically.”
“Basically?” Soli and Roule echoed weakly.
Lab-coat twirled a lock of hair around her finger. “Yeah. Basically.”
Roule’s eyebrows raised in disbelief. “How in the name of Karl Marx are you going to do that?”
Lab-coat rolled her eyes again and gestured to the car parked crudely in the grass. “Get in losers, we’re going shopping.” Gripping both of the boys’ hands and leading them to the car, she pulled her friend(Lab-coat 2: Asian ver.?) out and pushed them in, shutting the door with a solid slam.
“W-w-w-what is this thing?” Soli asked weakly, wondering what in the name of America was even happening.“This baby is a DeLorean. Just get it up to 88-point-eight miles an hour and you’ll be set to go get some sweet teenage booty. Metro’s booty, that is. Not in a sexual way though. More like a conquest. A conquest for death and destruction.” Soli just stared at her.
Clapping her hands together, she nervously nodded her head. “Yep. Everything’s already pre-set. Just drive and you’ll be in the past-”
“The past?” Roule asked incredulously.
“The past,” Lab-coat ver. 2 confirmed.
“The past!” Lab-coat said happily. “Me and Elly - this is Elly, she’s pretty cool and stuff - will house-sit for you. Now, go away.” Soli sat there for a few moments, staring at the ridiculous display in front of him. Lab-coat gestured for them to shoo. “Go away. Go. Away.”
Roule leaned in close. “I think we should go away.”
“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” Soli said through his teeth.
Soli had so many questions. Who were these people? Why were they so willing to help him? How were they going to get inside of his house without his key? Did this car actually go into the past? Can cars even go 88-point-eight miles per hour? Shifting into gear and staring at the stretch of road in front of him, he was sure that his most pressing question was:
What in the world was a DeLorean?
Tearing away the last shred of sanity he had, Soli stepped on the gas and practically flew down the pavement, the car jerking with every inexperienced twitch of his arms. Roule gripped the leather interior for dear life. “Jesus Christ, Soli! Do you even know how to drive!?”
“N-no!” Soli yelled over the roar of the engine, sweating bullets. Not letting up off of the gas, he watched as the speedometer ticked-ticked-ticked to it’s destination.
“I don’t think that this is going to-!”
Then suddenly, forest.
The car stuttered to a halt, twigs and branches crunching loudly at every sputter the car gave. Chest heaving, Roule let go of his vice grip and tentatively peered outside.
“Soli, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”
“Holy Jesus, where are we? Is this really the future? Past? Soli, where the heck are we?”
Roule’s questions were met with silence. Soli was currently gripping the side of the car with an almost scared look in his eye, getting out of the car on wobbly legs. This was not the place you started in, his stuttering brain supplied. This is someplace different. Different. Soli looked back to the inside of the car, his breath halted in the expectation that this would all be a dream. Rounding the car, Roule gave him a harsh knock on the back in anger and Soli exhaled suddenly, the world suddenly spinning. Different. The blue-haired boy barely had time to take a step back before Solitaire started to throw up chunks, narrowly missing his steel-toed boots.
Roule ran a hand through his hair, trying not to laugh as his friend slowly recovered from shock. “Man, Soli, you really are a wuss sometimes. The superstructure of the world might be integrated in your brain but that’s no reason to throw up.” Moving a bit closer as his boyfriend started to dry heave, Roule ran a gentle hand up and down his friend’s back, his eyes lidded. “Such an idiot.”
Chest heaving, Soli let out a breathy “Not an idiot.” and attempted to get up again, once again steadying himself on the hood of the car in case the world decided to throw another sucker-punch in his face Okay, so. They definitely weren’t in the same place they were before. There were trees and trees and most definitely not anything that anyone really cares about, like pavement and sidewalks and habitable environments. He was sure that the city was somewhere close, judging by the almost obnoxious amount of noise coming from the left. So much for making base in his current(former?) household.